I’ve been struggling with something lately. Wrestling, even.
Keeping a secret.
Avoiding my truth because I didn’t want to be…
I’ve been pushing the nudges away, ignoring them, and giving all the rebuttals and asking all the typical questions.
“Who am I to…?”
“What’s my husband going to think?”
“What will my family think?”
“What will my old classmates think?” (Yeah, when I freak myself out, I go waaaay back to make sure I don’t miss anybody’s unsolicited, irrelevant opinion. LOL)
“What if I don’t know enough? What if I freeze? What if there’s someone I can’t help?”
(What-ifs are stupid wastes of energy unless they’re followed by, “It’s AMAZING,” by the way.)
“Um, no, I never want to call myself a “coach” again. I really don’t like that title.”
“This is dumb.”
“This is crazy.”
“I’ll get laughed at.”
“That’s not a real job.” (Ego, much? And clearly it is a real job if other people are out there changing lives by loving on and teaching people–and getting paid for it.)
But crap, y’all.
I’m a coach.
All Roads Led Me Here
I’ve been a coach for 23 years. I just never got paid for it. I’m still in touch with some of the people I met in chat rooms when I was 13. I’d sit up all night with people who felt like the only place they could talk freely was online, to a stranger, from behind a screen.
I made plenty of money selling products when I worked in sales to get myself through college, but people seemed to be drawn to me for long chats between actual customers as if they knew I was someone who’d listen and make them feel heard. Help them see their worth.
The nights I made $300 in commission for five or six hours of work were great, but nothing made me feel fulfilled like seeing someone have a breakthrough in the warm glow of the cell phone kiosk lights (LOL).
All roads–or points in my road–led me to this point. Cue the “God bless the broken road…that led me straight to you.” lyrics. Lol
- Feeling lost, unloved, left out, and scared as a kid (I knew my parents and grandparents loved me, but everyone else? Maybe not.)
- Feeling protective of people in my life
- Earning a degree in psychology and an almost-minor in creative writing
- Always very tuned in to the feelings of others and desperately wanting to cheer them up when they felt lonely or depressed
- I love asking the hard questions, the questions that challenge you, the ones that other people might be too scared to ask…I want to help you shift your perspective when necessary
- Years of suffering with depression, anxiety, and generally just trying to put my life back on track and find myself again after marriage, my parents’ divorce right after I got married, a move I didn’t want to make, a baby, and some other things that aren’t really mine to discuss so openly even though they flipped my life upside down
- Awkward attempts to make friends
- Interesting relationships that taught me a lot about life and love and boundaries
- Feeling “not good enough”
- Obsessively reading personal development books, watching videos and webinars on self-improvement, etc
- Drifting along as a freelance writer, unfulfilled after a few years of it but unsure of where to go next (I still love writing but I needed to make some changes in the type of work I was doing, even as a writer–I let myself get stuck, stagnant)
- Feeling resentment, jealousy, and hating myself because of it, because I felt stuck where I was and knew that wasn’t where I belonged, then healing and finding my way back to myself
You get my point.
It’s kind of what this whole blog set out to do–help people reconnect with themselves and believe they can have the lives they’ve always dreamed of. Or lives even bigger, richer, and better than what they’ve dreamed of.
After doing a lot of inner work on myself, seeing unmistakable signs, and thinking about all the things I ever wanted to put out into the world and what their purposes are/were meant to be, I just can’t resist it anymore (even though I still dislike the “coach” title and am totally up for other options).
I. Am. A Coach!
I feel like Samantha on Bewitched, letting Darrin in on her secret. “I. Am. A witch!” Except in this case, “I. Am. a Coach!” (Can’t wiggle my nose like she did, too bad. Also: Definitely not a witch. Lol)
So, here I am…a Life Coach. I hope to come up with a snazzier title than that sometime, but I have yet to think of anything (anybody else…?). I’ve transformed my own life, studied endlessly, and I’ve always been helping people.
Now I want to “officially” help people with their relationships (or lack thereof), self-worth, mindset, and more. And because I have to tie the whole writing thing in since that’s what I (also) do, I want to help you rewrite your story, with love. ♥
I’m still going to keep talking beauty, books, creativity, productivity, food, and fitness here (and some of those will show up on Medium, too, so follow me there!) because I still believe that those are important and they can support a healthy mindset and contribute to a joy-filled life.
Everything is still interwoven when it comes to love, self-worth, and how you think.
Plus I love all that stuff and could never shut up about it completely. Those just won’t be such focal points. Because much like my living room (more on that later), I’ve had way too many “focal points” and a lack of actual focus for way too long.
So What Now?
I’m working on a few related projects for this new adventure now, but contact me (thatoldkitchentable at gmail dot com) if you’d like to chat about life, love, how to change your mindset, or even writing in the meantime. What are you struggling with right now?
Join my Facebook group for discussions about life, love, and more. I plan on announcing some free challenges over there that have to do with designing and living your best life.
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